Important Skills for Chaplaincy

Chaplaincy is not a job for the faint of heart. A chaplain will often find themselves in difficult and stressful situations. What kind of skills are needed to succeed as a chaplain?

Interested in becoming a chaplain? Click here for our guide on becoming a chaplain

Empathy

Empathy is one of the most important skills for a chaplain because they will minister to people in a variety of difficult times. In Brene Brown’s book, Dare to Lead, she discusses 5 empathy skills. These include the ability to see the world as others see it, being nonjudgmental, understanding someone else’s feelings, communicating you understand someone else’s feelings, and paying attention.

Being nonjudgmental can be a challenging skill in the beginning for some chaplains, both because of their training and how people view them. Clergy are often trained to think in terms of morality and ethics. They are asked about what is right and wrong, what people should or shouldn’t be doing.

Sometimes people expect a chaplain to preach to them because that is what they are used to clergy doing. A chaplain then has the task of demonstrating to the person in their care that they are not there to judge or explain, but to support the person however is best for them.

Below is a Brene Brown video where she discusses the differences between empathy and sympathy.

The above-named empathy skills are all important for a chaplain to have. Helping people in difficulty or crisis process their feelings through empathetic, active listening is important. That brings us to our next skill, listening.

Listening

The best help a chaplain can provide to someone in a time of crisis is often to be a listening ear. Listening to understand, not to respond, is a crucial distinction for a chaplain. Active listening allows the chaplain to reflect back on the emotions suggested or named by the person they are visiting, which allows that person to reflect more on what they are feeling.

Sometimes active listening allows the person talking to hear back what they said and realize that what they said is not actually what they meant. They might use the language of anger, but upon hearing that language they realize they are not angry, but disappointed. The person can then reflect on why they are

How to become an active listener from the University of Rochester

Emotional Intelligence

Chaplains help others process and handle their emotions, so being emotionally intelligent is an important ability to have. Emotional intelligence is defined as follows:

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Emotional intelligence is generally said to include a few skills: namely emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same.

Psychology Today – Link

When emotions are running high, such as at the scene of a terrible car accident, chaplains can help others process and deal with their emotions by controlling their own in the midst of the stress all around them. Learning to identify, understand, and control emotions is an important skill for chaplains.

This does not mean that a chaplain is an emotionless robot. Instead, by understanding their emotions chaplains are able to use their emotions to connect when appropriate and to be a calm presence for others to lean on when needed.

Take an Emotional Intelligence Quiz from the Greater Good Magazine

Ability to Connect with Others

Chaplains often find themselves providing care to strangers, so connecting quickly with others is an important skill. This is an especially critical skill for healthcare chaplains, corporate chaplains, and military chaplains. These professions bring lots of new people into the chaplain’s care and being able to enter into a caregiving relationship quickly is helpful. Taking a genuine interest in others, finding common ground, and being observant are some strategies for establishing trust with those in the chaplain’s care.

Spiritual Confidence and Humility

While the title of this skill might be confusing, hopefully soon the meaning will be clear. Chaplains provide spiritual care to people from a variety of religions and spiritual perspectives. In providing spiritual care to people who have different views on religion and spirituality, the chaplain needs to be confident in what he or she believes. This provides the foundation from which they provide care and guides them in how they care for others.

While a chaplain needs confidence, they also need humility. A chaplain does not provide care to convince someone else to change what they believe, instead, they come alongside the person receiving care and meet them where they are. Recognizing the importance of another person’s religion or spirituality to them is an important skill for a chaplain.

Conclusion

Chaplaincy is a unique profession, bringing the divine out of its normal spaces into the secular arenas. The skills needed are similar to other helping professions. Chaplains need the ability to focus on the person they are caring for. The ability to empathize, listen, connect, and establish a spiritual caregiving relationship are the most important skills for a chaplain to develop.